"Oprah seemed like she was giving me the cold shoulder. She was with Iman (Bowie). Iman was always dancing with me, hugging and kissing me, but Oprah seemed really p*ssed off with me. Also she made this huge speech at the ball praising Lady Gaga and about how she (Lady Gaga) is helping Americans to be the best of themselves. There’s millions of other Americans who represent that for me. Is (it) about numbers? About how much you’re selling? Is it truly about the journey? Because (Lady Gaga’s) journey isn’t that difficult: to go from the f*cking Upper East Side to a f*cking performing arts school and on to a stage at the museum of f*cking wherever. That journey’s about four miles."

"What was mines was yours…but what was yours wasn’t mine."

The Guardian: Any advice for a 21-year-old who hates their job and has the possibility of traveling the world? And has a boyfriend that they like. (This is for a friend.)
Rob Delaney: Go do it. Fuck him. Is he a guy in his 20s? Then he's the least significant type of person on the planet. A male in their 20s? Run in the opposite direction. Nothing he says matters; his fears, his hopes his dreams are garbage. Men in their 20s are the worst thing happening on our planet. Go, go to Uzbekistan, go to South Korea, just go anywhere he isn't because men in their 20s are bad for young women.
The Guardian: So what do women in their 20s do?
Rob Delaney: Masturbate. Date other women for a while. Use men sexually for a while but don't ever invite their opinion or be bound to them in any way.